


hair comes trouble

by nebulousviolet



Category: H.I.V.E. Series - Mark Walden
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Gen, shelby cuts everyones hair and thats canon xo, that vibe when years of saving the world makes you go grey at 18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26933971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nebulousviolet/pseuds/nebulousviolet
Summary: “What?”“Oh my God,” Shelby repeated, not answering the question.“This better not be about my supposedly blond roots,” Otto said.
Relationships: Otto Malpense & Shelby Trinity
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	hair comes trouble

**Author's Note:**

> another lighthearted drabble because i CAN and i feel like giving otto a sprinkle of happiness

“Oh my God,” Shelby said, sounding entirely too pleased with herself.

If Otto was feeling venomous, he could make the point that Shelby was  _ always  _ too pleased with herself; it was what made her so irritatingly American. But she had a pair of scissors pointed dangerously close to his face, so he tamped down on the urge to make a snide comment. “What?”

“Oh my  _ God _ ,” Shelby repeated, not answering the question. 

“This better not be about my supposedly blond roots,” Otto said. Shelby brought this up every time she cut his hair - because, alright, maybe trusting Shelby with his haircut was a little risky, but it was preferable to having to visit H.I.V.E’s infamous barber. Last Otto had heard, the barber had graduated from battleaxes to throwing stars. Besides, Tahir Khan had been vehement in his assertion that it always produced an uneven result, anyway. “For the last time, I don’t dye my hair. It’s just naturally darker at the-”   
“It’s not,” Shelby grinned. “You have a grey hair.”

“You’re joking,” Otto said. 

“Am  _ not _ ,” Shelby sniffed, clearly indignant, as if she hadn’t been responsible for a good three quarters of the April Fools’ pranks thrown last year. “Look.”

She plucked the hair from his head, ignoring Otto’s cry of disapproval at the sting, and dangled it in front of him. Otto squinted. “Looks white to me,” he said.

“It’s grey,” Shelby insisted.

“We’ll get an independent adjudicator to decide,” Otto sighed, knowing she’d refuse to let it go if he didn’t, and studiously ignoring the twist of Shelby’s mouth at his use of the word  _ adjudicator  _ (unlike Laura, Shelby found his use of what she called SAT-vocab words to be more annoying than endearing). “Laura!”

Looking deeply jaded, Laura slunk into the bathroom she shared with Shelby. She was still holding her How To Run The World In 2 Presidential Terms: A Handy Guide! textbook, and seemed as though she might smack both her roommate and her boyfriend over the head with it.

“This better be good,” she said, looking between the two of them. “Because I’m not rehashing the hair dye argument again.”

“Just because you know I’m right and don’t want to betray your beau,” Shelby muttered, but held out the hair to Laura anyway. “Is this white or grey?”

Laura stared blankly. “You’ve got to be kidding.”

“Please answer the question,” Otto groaned. “You know she won’t leave it alone until you do.”

Laura took the hair, grimacing, and held it up to the light. Shelby shot Otto a glance that was probably meant to indicate  _ prepare to be crushed _ , but instead just made her look vaguely constipated. After a long moment, Laura pursed her lips. “It’s dark white,” she announced.

Shelby goggled at her. “You mean grey.

“No,” Laura said patiently, “I mean dark white. Can I leave now?”

“This is such a copout!” Shelby complained. “Pick a side!”   
“You sound like every biphobe ever,” Otto sniped.

“I’m literally bisexual,  _ shut up _ , Malpense,” Shelby hit back. “Brand, this is totally cheating.”

“Fine!” Laura scowled. “It’s grey, then. The two of you drive me crazy sometimes.”

  
  
With that, she stormed back out of the bathroom, leaving an unbearably smug Shelby.

“This is great,” she crowed. “Not even nineteen, and you have a grey hair. I’m going to be  _ so  _ hot in comparison at the ten year reunion.”

“I hate you,” Otto said patiently. “I think about killing you every day. You’re the sole cause of this.”

“Okay,” Shelby agreed. “But I’m right.”

  
“Ugh,” Otto huffed. “Next time, I’m just growing it out.”   



End file.
